Okay, I’m guilty.
Not anything I am proud of, that’s the way things of this nature go.
I am guilty of being impatient.
Impatient with someone that I should not be. Impatient because things aren’t happening in MY time. Getting grouchy because they haven’t.
Honestly it came down to a time that a discussion needed to happen, I was so impatient that it had to happen RIGHT NOW.
I’m sure you have encountered “My Kind” before haven’t you?
We may say it’s our prerogative as a woman to change our mind, never was it written in the “guide lines” that we had the prerogative to be Impatient.
Impatience accomplishes absolutely nothing. People will move at their own pace, you will have a difficult time controlling that.
What we can control is our own emotions because we share them with others whether you like it or not.
Let’s talk……
What I found out is something I already knew, we came from two different environments. Two different styles of families and two different styles of parenting. That is what make us all individuals right?
From my side, I was the “over-looked” one. Quiet, didn’t need much attention, so I didn’t get it. With 2 other kids making a heck of a lot more noise than me, I understand how something like this can happen. My Immediate family is still all around within about 5 miles of me.
From the other side, the person was adored, never had to question the importance that they held in their family, splitting image of the father, who passed away at a young age. Grandparents to dote, and aunts and uncles as well. Many of whom have passed away.
Two totally different worlds.
I feel like I have to be heard, and charge to the front
From the other side, they are happy letting someone else win and take pleasure in their joy, they are able to sit back and wait to say something until it is important.
I am So Guilty.
As I read this I think I could use some of what this other person has.
I understand about the two different worlds and everything, now how about the impatience issue (which only belongs to me)
The other person explained it very simply to me in just one sentence.
They said, “You know I don’t really like to make people mad, I would rather not create anger directed at me. I have already lost so many people (to death) in my life and I really don’t want to lose anyone else, especially when they are alive”.
That was one of the most powerful sentences anyone has EVER said to me. I am sure I looked like a Deer in Headlights at that moment…..
Just when you think “you know everything” RIGHT?
I am GUILTY as Charged (charged by myself) because the person that I was talking to would never “gloat” or “charge me guilty”. They just ask for Understanding and Acceptance, that is the least that I can offer along with my Apology.
I am working on Patience, Many times it is directed at myself. I may slip because I am not perfect, I am a work in progress.
Many times we would like to change behaviors in the ones we love that don’t seem to be of any value to us. What we need to realize is that we are all different and that is what makes life interesting. We look different but more importantly we think differently. We need to love and accept people no matter their idiosyncrasies as I am sure you would like others to love and accept you.
Take time out and examine the way you think about your loved ones. Are you accepting of the way they are or would you be tempted to change some things about them. Acceptance is part of being happy so it would be advantageous for you to take some time and repeat this affirmation so that you can get on the road of acceptance.
I can love my family members as they are.
My love is a free gift that I offer to others without any strings attached. There are no pre-requisites to being cherished by me. I love because I choose to love.
When I make the choice to love the members of my family, nothing can get in the way. The manner in which my family members look or dress is irrelevant to me. I embrace my family for who they are, not for how they look.
I relinquish my desire to control the way people behave. On the contrary, I welcome the different ways people carry themselves as a beautiful blend of personalities, like a garden filled with various types of flowers. Each one is as beautiful as any other.
Regardless of whether my family members are shy or loud, uptight or free spirited, wealthy or poor, wise or ignorant, I choose to love them just the way they are. I enjoy being loved the way I am; therefore, I love others without needing to change them first.
At times my family members may lash out in an unloving way towards me. Instead of responding in kind, I rise above the hurt and respond with compassion.
Although I love my family, I know that not all of them are trustworthy. I choose to cherish even the members of my family whom I cannot trust. I am strong enough to humble myself and love people who fall short of my expectations.
Today, I choose to love all of the members of my family with kindness and patience. I cultivate the best in myself as I accept their imperfections and love them no matter what.
Self-Reflection Questions:
1. Do I love unconditionally?
2. How can I separate love from trust?
3. Who do I need to show more love to in my family?
Just these three simple questions can make you see if there is some work to do in accepting people the way they are without feeling the need to change them.
The simple act of encouragement will build self confidence in your children. They will be secure in your love when you accept them as they are, find out more about encouragement, CLICK HERE and find out more.
Don’t let the thought of meditating the “right” way add to your stress. Meditation takes time and patience to learn so getting stressed about it will just disolve all of the benefits that you are looking to gain.
You can make meditation what ever you need it to be. More relaxed or structured, what ever works for you is what is right for you. Some people build meditation into their daily routine. For example, they may start and end each day with a half hour or an hour of meditation, But all you really need is a few minutes of quality time for meditation.
Tips to practice meditation on your own
Here are some ways you can practice meditation on your own, in ways that work for your own personal needs. Take a few minutes or as much time as you like to practice one or more of these meditation methods:
* Breathe deeply. This technique is good for beginners because of the natural function of breathing. Focus your attention on your breathing. Concentrate on feeling and listening as you inhale and exhale through your nose. Breathe deeply and slowly. When your attention wanders, gently return your focus to your breathing.
* Scan your body. When using this technique, focus your thoughts on different parts of your body. be aware of how your body feels, pain, tension, warmth or relaxation. Combine body scanning with breathing exercises and imagine breathing heat or relaxation into and out of different parts of your body.
* Repeat a mantra. You can create your own mantra, whether it’s religious or not.
* Walking meditation. Combining a walk with meditation is an efficient and healthy way to relax. You can use this technique anywhere you’re walking – in a tranquil forest, on a city sidewalk or at the mall. When you use this method, slow down the pace of walking so that you can focus on each movement of your legs or feet. Don’t focus on a particular destination. Concentrate on your legs and feet, repeating action words in your mind such as lifting, moving and placing as you lift each foot, move your leg forward and place your foot on the ground.
* Engage in prayer. Prayer is the best known and most widely practiced example of meditation. Spoken and written prayers are found in most faiths. You can pray using your own words or read prayers written by others. Check the self-help or 12-step-recovery section of your local bookstore for examples. Talk with your rabbi, priest, pastor or other spiritual leader about resources.
* Read or listen and take time to reflect. Many people report that they benefit from reading poems or sacred texts silently or aloud or listening to inspiration music, and taking a few moments to quietly reflect on the meaning that the words bring to mind. Listen to spoken words or any music you find relaxing or inspiring. You may want to write your reflections in a journal or discuss them with a friend or spiritual leader.
* Focus your love and gratitude. In this type of meditation, you focus your attention on an object or being that you hold above reverence, interlacing feelings of love and gratitude into your thoughts. You can also close your eyes and use your imagination or gaze at representations of the object.
So as you can see there are many different types of meditation and maybe what works for you isn’t even listed here. We are all individuals and so we have individual needs.
Take the thought with you that Meditation time is your time and it is valuable so schedule it in and make sure that you don’t miss it. It will improve you overall health and lower your stress levels.
We were so impressed by the crowds at this years Race for the Cure.
It was dark when I got up but I could see the sun coming up on the horizon and I knew it was going to be a beautiful day. Rain or shine we were on our way downtown Portland with 40,000 other people.
We put the harness and a race for the cure T shirt on our 100 pound Labrdoodle and headed to meet our team at the MAX tracks for our 7 AM train.
Lilee our Dog had never been on a Max train but she didn’t mind it at all, she likes people and seemed to have a pretty good time.
We got on the train at the end of the line, the farthest it goes from Portland. As we went along and made stops, more and more people continued to get on the train until the pup was just a little squished.
Finally the train stopped in downtown and we got off. The crowds were just as impressive off the train as on.
The Race for the Cure is always so much fun. Everyone there is celebrating life in general or in specific ways so the energy level is pretty intense.
I saw people meeting and hugging and crying, teams that were pretty “snazzed” up with silly costumes. beautiful balloons and other pets joining their masters on the walk. I saw a Cat and even a turtle in costume. (imagine that).
The crowds were overwhelming to say the least. When the race starts they actually seperate us up two main roads for about 6 or 7 blocks before both streets join, it is a complete sea of people where ever you look.
I watched the survivors come across the finish line and was totally amazed and inspired by what I saw. I saw women with only one breast or none. I saw survivors walking and in wheel chairs. I saw a survivor that was a Man. Then there were a few that didn’t look to be more than 20 years old. Everyone was happy and smiling. The support that was on the streets of Portland on Sunday September 20th 2009 was something that makes my heart swell with pride.
THEN I FOUND OUT WHY
PORTLAND HOLDS THE THIRD LARGEST RACE FOR THE CURE IN THE WORLD
reported by oregonian newspaper
We were honored to be a part of that celebration
End of Life Care, So what’s the big deal?
I live in a state where it is widely regarded that none of us are getting out of here alive. There are two things in this life you can be sure of. One, you were born. And two, you pass away.
We have experienced quite a bit of this in the past year. Not just some distant relatives. First it was our Step Dad. Then a month later my husbands only sister.
Just about a month ago it was our Mom (my Mother in law). There are all different ways of dieing. As in the case of our step Dad. He was fine one day. The next day went to the hospital at 9 AM and had passed away by 2:30 PM. He was 83 years old. The other two weren’t as fortunate. Cancer played it’s part.
It is very hard to see a loved one die of a terrible disease. When we talk about “end of life care” it really just refers to the special needs of the senior community. That “end of life” could last years.
We had an “end of life care” discussion with Mom several times. In her doctors office, a specialists office, when Hospice got involved we had the discussion several times.
It had to be addressed. If you are any type of reasonable person you realize that the end of life is inevitable.
The important part here is the word CARE. How does a person want to be cared for at the end of his or her life?
In Oregon 78% of the population has advanced directives. Meaning they have stated what they want and in the case they are not able to express those wishes then someone is named that understands and makes the decisions for them. We are forward thinking about the subject.
Honestly, thinking that we are going to face some type of “tribunal” or something when we get into our later years is laughable. However facing life and making decisions about how you want to die is a very important topic.
It could mean the difference between being on life support for years with no quality of life maybe depending on Medicaid, Or passing away peacefully at home in an environment that is not “clinical”.
Our Mom had choices to make about the level of care she would receive. From the “whole enchelada” to just comfort and pain relief. She only had one diseased lung. She understood that this was the end of her life but none of us knew how long we were referring to. Her Doctor was very caring and concerned when we spoke of her care. It was private and she made her choice be known and we honored it to the crossing of the T’s and dotting of the I’s.
The end of our life is PART of our life. It need not be unmentionable, life needs to be celebrated no matter what the stage.
Find out about Extending Longevity by clicking here
